You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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