That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
