How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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