Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
