Christians are straight up FREAKS
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
You're a waste of cheezeits
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
