No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
