Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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