The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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