I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
