i don't like sucking hair
You work out of a Hotel?
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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