Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
