I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Randomize
