I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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