Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
