Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
It's shark week go big or go home
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
