I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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