He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
