wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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