So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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