I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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