lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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