And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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