you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
