Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Randomize
