this just has baby written all over it
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Randomize
