return my video game
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
