We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Randomize
