That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
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