smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Randomize
