kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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