Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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