the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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