forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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