I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
