Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
it was like eating out sand paper
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
