you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
