Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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