so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Randomize
