There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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