why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
