I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
