the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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