Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Randomize
