i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
they're like a gay fantastic four
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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