I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
