So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I have aggressive nipples.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Randomize
