He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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