whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
