I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
