In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
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