Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
