I just cut my nipple shaving
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Dignity is for republicans.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
