if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
