stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
