Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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