I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Randomize
