Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
